The Dude vs. Santa

As ever parent knows, one of the most terrifying things you can inflict on your child is taking them to see Santa.

Here's how it went...

Daddy: Hey, Dude. Do you want to see Santa?
Dude: Sure, Daddy, that sounds super fun. Can we wait in line for an hour and half too? Because that is something I love to do.

Daddy: Okay, here's the deal. You're going to get up there and sit on that bearded old stranger's lap and say, "Merry Christmas!" And then you can tell him that you want a choo-choo train for Christmas.
Dude: Choo-choo train!
Daddy: Perfect. Then we'll want you stare at all the different cameras at the same time and smile. This is important, okay.
Dude: Don't worry about it, Daddy. It ain't no thing but a chicken wing. I got this.

Dude: HOLY CRAP!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON???? WHO IS THAT MAN???? HE'S GOING TO HAUNT MY DREAMS!!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!
Daddy: Someone, get this kid a candy cane, stat!

Dude: Okay, high five, Santa. We're cool.

As LL Cool J said, "Don't call it a comeback."

Jaws Two

                              Neighborhood opens their doors to trick-or-treaters.

Sharks in the neighborhood.

Our Shark.

We're going to need a bigger boat.

When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'.

 Happy Halloween from a candy eating, pumpkin carving machine!